Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it. — Russel Lynes
If you’ve read this blog long enough (eh, one time will work), you’re probably curious about how I have such a great one. And as onerous and challenging as it surely seems, I assure you, it’s easier than finding the will to brush your teeth.
Step one: The Conviction to Write.
Before you actually start writing something (as the simple laws of physics will back me) you have to actually sit down at a computer and put your fingers on the keys. At this point, it is crucial that you be able to type—whether that is the full-fledged ten finger-typing stance or the pogo stick hop between letters.
Step two: Turning On the Computer
Of all the steps in writing a blog, this one carries the most controversy. Because once you turn on the computer, you are very likely to become distracted with everything but your blog. However, in order to write a blog, you have to have the computer on. As you can see, a paradox unflinching in difficulty.
Step two point five: Waiting for the Computer to Turn On
Do not think that just because you had the courage to turn on the computer that you’ll have the resolve to wait through its turning on process. Surprisingly, in the twenty-first century, turning on a computer still requires the same patience necessary for watching a distant cousin play a little league softball game the year after they transitioned from a pitching machine to real pitchers.
Step three: Find a Blogging Website, Create a Username and Password, Mess Around with the Free Templates, Decide on a Style and Look You Like, Research SEOs, Determine Potential Readership, Decide on a Schedule for Release, Email Friends About Your Blog
Step four: Coming up with an Idea
Arguably the easiest of the steps is coming up with the idea. This can literally be about anything. Sitting on the toilet and you wonder what would happen if you cross-bred a crow with a squirrel? Blog. Standing at your friend’s cubicle and you wonder why he always smells like radioactive nuclear waste? Blog. Telling a story to a friend when you get to the punch line and they don’t laugh and you say that it was one of those moments where you just had to be there? Blog.
Step five: Actually Writing the Blog
If you’ve made it this far in my post, I applaud you. Hell, I hardly made it this far. You must really want to hear the least conventional way to write a blog, or you have a tremendous amount of work you’re trying to put off. Either way, let me explain the most challenging part of this process:
Go to the archive section on this website, copy and paste any of my older posts (take this one if you want), change a few words around, give me dual authorship, and BAM you’ve got a blog.
Good luck, Blog-a-nauts,