Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right. – Phil McGraw Recently, my whole world changed. Well, not my whole world, but the part of it I spend the majority of my time in; namely, my bedroom. Now, I don’t want to say moving to a new apartment was the worst…
Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what’s right. — Isaac Asimov I have a confession to make: For the first time in almost 20 years, I killed a spider. And the guilt is tearing me apart. Now, for most of you, your first assumption was probably that I’m crazy—but…
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. — Charles M. Schulz For a season so known for gaiety and sun, this summer—at least in Ohio—has been one of dejection and rain. Well. Not that bad. But it as has rained a lot. However, nothing brightens a dreary day better than…
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. — Andy Rooney I’ve been known to be an expressive guy—telling a story last night, I accidentally karate chopped a friend’s face. But I mean, come on—when has good gesticulation ever hurt a story? But not everyone is so wantonly wavy with…
I am human; therefore, nothing human can be alien to me. – Terrence (the slave turned Roman playwright) Sometimes when speaking to others, the monumental illogicality of their words almost necessitates they came from a different culture. Like seriously: How could anyone ever dislike peanut butter? But beyond these more superficial differences between cultures—the clothes,…
A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he’s persuasive. — Demetri Martin It’s been a little over a week since my return to the US, and let’s just say the Amazon I am now exploring is not the Amazon I wish I were exploring. But you all don’t pay…